Shoot the Pianist [dot] net

Hurricane in a Teapot.

Still looking for an alternate measure to calming the storm of thoughts that rush through my head, but as of now, I am calm, my head is close to empty with the exception of writing this, and I wish that this could happen on a long term basis. The problem remains that it’s 5 in the morning now, and I still haven’t managed to fall asleep, or even be a little tired.

Before anyone starts toting quick fix sleep remedies, keep in mind that I’ve tried every trick in the medical books, and every old wive’s tale on record. The answer is no, it doesn’t work. The one I haven’t tried is medicating myself, because if we address my sleep issues, I’m afraid I’ll be taking drugs to wake up, and drugs to sleep again.

warm bath massage sex music milk tea not eating eating excersising not exercising lights off counting sheep coding in my head silence darkness noise white noise deep breathing meditation prayer progressive relaxation visualisations getting up early hot water bottles smoking not smoking smoking weed not smoking weed valerian root alcohol no caffeine

Heart is Wired

Another insomniac night, one of those ones where I fantasise about never sleeping and wasting time again because as a default it feels like I need to sleep half of my days away. One of those nights where you make a passing comment about an actor and then watch everything of theirs you can get your hands on and contemplate buying the complete collection just because. If I could never sleep again, I could. My eyes want to rest by my head keeps going and going and going and it feels like I have nothing to even myself out so I end up doing stupid shit like painting the fridge with a crap painting I don’t finish, being brash loud and irritating and thinking that every single action outside of myself is a challenge that questions whether I’m decent or not.

Weeds

So, I finally caved and bought a new hand mower. It’s fun. Daniel, Laurie and I mowed most of the weeds, but I need to loan a whipper snipper.  It’s disconcerting that there are more weeds than lawn, which makes me think that if I used a broadleaf plant killer, I’d have a lot of dirt, which I’d then need to plant grass seeds in and hope that my utter failure to keep anything alive doesn’t extend to coaxing grass into growing before the dandelions attack and kill us all.

That being said, I’d love to have a nice garden space. I’m a little miffed there’s no access to power out there, which means no LED lights, unless they’re solar, which I have now found on ebay.

Really, I’ve never done anything in the way of redecorating anything for myself, so it’s a bit daunting preparing to settle in somewhere and making it livable rather than stashing my shit somewhere till I move. With some minor aesthetic changes, I would like to stay here for quite a while, but I’d also like a setup where if we move, I can still create a nice space. I think this is all a part of the whole having my own space for the first time part.

So, over the next few months I’d like to make our house more livable, but I’m drawing a blank.

Facebook Banter

For the most part, chatting on facebook is like being in a public place and running into someone you kind of know from five years ago at school, and then you get to have that awkward amount of small talk and pretend that what the other person has been up to in the last six months really, really matters.

Aside from that, take my medical advice on this: Coke doesn’t cure headaches. Water does. My eyesight is fucked and I need to see a doctor in the next two days and I’m having troubles dealing with stress. The house is a mess and I need to sit down and do some serious planning.

However, it’s currently 2am and I don’t get to think properly at 2 in the morning. It also irritates me that today, a small group of people and sitting around and deciding what’s going to happen in the world over the next four years, and the way I see it, neither of the options are positive, it’s just that one is slightly better than being nuked.

Fate Urinates

So, Laurie’s stomach ache/cold/general unwell wasn’t a stomach ache/cold/general unwell. This time yesterday he fnally felt ill enough to go to the doctor, who gave a guess of appendicitis and sent him to the hospital. Appendicitis, fine. Surgery, get it out, get home, rest up, feel fine. However, we got to the hospital, and at this point he was feeling worse, and it turns out he was suffering from Diabetic ketoacidosis. (wikipedia makes a doctor out of everyone!)

So laurie has type one diabetes. fun times.

Hospitals are queer places. In the 24 hours I was there I had no concept of time because it was lit to always feel like mid afternoon, and the only thing that really let you know anything was nurses visits to change saline bags, doing simple maths against the mL/Hr number on the screen versus how much is actually in the bag. Unless you’re sick, or have a loved one who is sick, it feels like a constant pajama party, which could be a little cool. It feels like a little living, breathing city, all in one building with its overpriced food. The emergency staff were nice, the patients not as much, one old lady deciding to come into emergency because she was feeling “a little bit funny” in no real tangible way. I have fifty minutes until I get to go back there and I’m always cold. I’ve now caught up on my sleep and eaten for the first time in 30 hours. That is the punishment I get for not eating breakfast.

Assholes.

http://www.smh.com.au/news/national/millions-get-christmas-gift/2008/10/14/1223750036944.html

So they feel the need to do something to artificially boost the economy, and yet they can’t be bothered spending the same amount to raise the student payment to above the poverty line?

Instead, giving my mother more money for booze is a fantastic idea, guys! Well done to the government once again!

This comment infuriated me as well:

The president of the National Welfare Rights Network, Kate Beaumont, said that with unemployment levels tipped to rise “now is not the time to limit financial support to unemployed people with no dependent children”.

The thing that annoys me is that many people actually believe the opposite of this statement. I understand that there are dole bludgers out there, and I understand that many of them don’t have children, but when you limit financial support to these people, they get in situations where not only do they have trouble finding the money to complete their Mutual Obligation contracts because of the cost of travel, but they can’t do things like buy interview appropriate clothing or petrol to get to interviews to find new jobs. Way to keep the unemployed unemployed. Why not create an incentive where if an unemployed person gets a job and stays in it for a certain amount of time, they’re rewarded for it, or something that actually encourages rather than hinders.

If I didn’t have you

Home Stretch

I feel like I am on holiday. My house is empty, I’m being productive, we’re piss poor and that’s a good thing, it’s an indication of how much we’ve earned and how much we’ve been spending (mostly on friends). I didn’t end up going to anything I planned on during TINA but I did go to an awesome open mic without a mic in Watt Space and it was fantastic and inspiring. I like male poetry.

I am on the home stretch with Leigh’s site. The bigger my sites get, the messier they seem to me and I need to fix that. I am learning to take time off at night instead of fucking around on the computer. Now I just need to learn to write and paint again and I’ll be happy.

Also, Stephen Fry AND madam Hooch are in Fable 2. This makes me incredibly happy. I also have an inexcusable obsession with the Whitlams and I’m glad it’s not driving anyone crazy right now.

Things my blog is older than.

iTunes
Camera Phones
Pleo
Intelligent Ovens
Prius
strapless goggles
Youtube
the Australian release of the Gamecube
East Timor
Google Adsense
Firefly
Xbox Live
Morrowind
Gutterflower- The Goo Goo Dolls
the Spiderman film
Amelie
gaiaonline.com
Flickr
Debbie Does Dallas: The Musical
Mozilla
American Idol

This is Not Art

Some of the things I’m interested in seeing:

Friday:

• 12:00-1:30: Sleeping with Strangers: getting close to your characters.
• 1:30-3:00: Funny ha ha or Just Funny? writing for comedy
• 3:00-5:00: The Anti Social Social Club
• 3:30-5:00: Mind Controlled Musical Instruments
• 6pm: Neil’s gig.

Saturday:

• 12:00-2:00: Machines that See: Computer Vision
• 12:00-2:00: New business models under the microscope
• 2:00-4:00: New laws and Performance Spaces
• 4:30-6:Stop the Rot: Hunter Street Shopfronts
• 8:00-11:00: Mashquerade

Sunday:

• 12:00-2:00: Live Touring Seminar
• 12:00-5:00: Zine Fair
• 1:30-2:30: Multi Tasking
• 6:00-8:00: Anime screening

Monday:

• 12:00-1:30: Getting Street Cred
• 2:00-4:00: Music Industry
• 4:00-6:00: Anime Screening part 2

TMI: first day of my period. Today I cry and fret and feel stressed about absolutely nothing, then I crave chocolate. Tomorrow we’re clothes shopping.