Shoot the Pianist [dot] net

C, E-flat, and G go into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, but we don’t serve minors.”

So the E-flat leaves, and the C and the G have an open fifth between them. After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished; the G is out flat.

An F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough. A D comes into the bar and heads straight for the bathroom saying, “Excuse me. I’ll just be a second.”

An A comes into the bar, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor.

Then the bartender notices a B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and exclaims, “Get out now! You’re the seventh minor I’ve found in this bar tonight.”

The E-flat, not easily deflated, comes back to the bar the next night in a 3-piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender says: “You’re looking sharp tonight, come on in! This could be a major development.” This proves to be the case, as the E-flat takes off the suit, and everything else, and stands there au naturel.

Eventually, the C sobers up, and realizes in horror that he’s under a rest.

The C is brought to trial, is found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a minor, and is sentenced to 10 years of DS without Coda at an upscale correctional facility.

On appeal, however, the C is found innocent of any wrongdoing, even accidental, and that all accusations to the contrary are bassless. The bartender decides he needs a rest – and closes the bar.

I’ll just leave this here. If you think it applies, you’re probably right.

http://www.mcafee.cc/Bin/sb.html

(for the insecure: I’m not pointing out anyone on my list is a sociopath. I don’t tolerate bullshit from people and you’re here because I love you)

I haven’t updated in more than two months. I’m feeling a little rough, unproductive and silly. I think I’m becoming emotionally dependent on my shrink. I couldn’t see her for two weeks because of scheduling conflicts and it’s been the roughest two weeks of the last six months. Mostly due to hypomania.

I miss listening to music constantly, so I have been. Placebo in the car makes me think of Kia while I’m driving, which, while on my way to appointments makes me want to pull onto the freeway and drive across the Nullabor. Unfortunately, the car I’m currently driving wouldn’t make it past Canberra (if it was lucky) and going walkabout for a week is not a smart thing to do.

I currently have a huge talentcrush on Jonathan Groff. He reminds me of lots of people, and he’s talented as all getout, so that helps. So, I’ve been listening to spring awakening for the last week or so.

Mother’s day is coming up soon. Mum’s birthday is that day too, and she would have been fifty. I don’t miss her in the way that I don’t miss her being sick or dealing with that situation. Because of everything that happened, she hadn’t been alive in any way but a heartbeat in more than five years. However, no “right combination of meds” or “proper treatment” heals someone from being a box of ground bone in a box. So there’s that. That sucks.

I’m feeling stupid, all nostalgic and such and I don’t know why.

1. Cartoonist / Comic Illustrator
2. Website Designer
3. Video Game Developer
4. Computer Programmer
5. Web Developer
6. Composer
7. Illustrator
8. Artist
9. Animator
10. Model Maker
11. Business Systems Analyst
12. Office Machine Repairer
13. Multimedia Developer
14. Computer Engineer
15. Stenographer
16. Sign Maker
17. Electronics Engineering Tech
18. Desktop Publisher
19. Translator
20. Dental Lab Tech
21. Webmaster
22. Technical Writer
23. Scientist
24. Electrician
25. Zoologist
26. Sign Language Interpreter
27. Graphic Designer
28. Special Effects Technician
29. Data Entry Clerk
30. Market Research Analyst
31. Computer Animator
32. Electrical Engineering Tech
33. Musical Instrument Builder and Repairer
34. Statistician
35. Drafter
36. Researcher
37. Cartographer
38. Anthropologist
39. Computer Scientist
40. Archivist

Crap, unmotivated and uninspired. Need to get my shit together and get work done, make a list of all of my plans and start doing instead of sighing and trying to remember everything at once. Lots of little things niggling on my brain and in between a lot of places at the moment. Nothing is being accomplished and I feel like a fraud and a failure simultaniously. I keep saying that I’ll pull into gear and do all of the things that make life worth living and then working for hours without getting much done. I’m frustrated.

So, we get a down payment from a new client. Within a week, enough stuff breaks for us to spend every red cent of it on replacing our water meter AND our fridge. Whoo, go us!

This year, my basic resolutions were:

• become financially independent (almost!)
• do more art (yes!)
  
• make a business out of my art/illustration/possible teaching (started!)
  
• become a useful musician, possibly learn bass.
• go to New Zealand
• turn 21 (managed it!)

For Next year, they are:

• become less mentally incontinent
• do more art
• sell my art
• expand our business
• rennovate mum’s house and move in when we’re happy with it
• be financially independent
• grow some of our own food
• write a zine
• publish aleksi
• have at least one exhibition
• persue the mental health team for the treatment of my mother
• buy produce locally
• strip back to a non processed, non packaged diet.
• get a kitten or puppy
• get a tattoo
• gain a serious art comission from someone I don’t know

And, that stupid new year quiz:

Continue reading →

We recorded the song up in the northeast kingdom on borrowed instruments. Our hazy-eyed hairball engineer swayed like a derelict wrecking ball over the console like a played-out carnie with nothing to show for a lifetime of swindling. His down-to-the-filter cigarette wandered listlessly with a skeletal droop of ash as he leaned on his crippled office chair teasing gravity. He ended up giving in to his heavy eyes and passing out on the couch with his feet up, still holding the cigarette as Brad and I took turns pressing the “record” and “locate” buttons. – Dispatch on recording “The General”

Laurie had insomnia last night and was up till past 2am learning this song

Welcome to the annual November downswing! I’m your host, depressed as fuck debbie downer!

So, my meds aren’t working, and I wish I had my old doctor back because he wasn’t shit scared to fuck around with my meds. At the moment, my GP feels like he doesn’t know enough to mess with them wisely (I’d rather have him say that than do it anyway just to see what happens) and wants my pdoc to do it. My pdoc doesn’t want to mess with them for another month or so.

This week, I get to see how my liver is coping with my medication. If it isn’t, it will be a fun, fun week.

Indian donuts are the shiznit. Also, I have a fetish for paper products and have come up with my nome de plumme for writing and arting.